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JALAPENO BBQ SMASHBURGER

28 Mar

UntitledWhat you are looking at is prolly my favorite “fancy” burger of all-time.  The Jalapeno BBQ Smashburger is:

Grilled Garlic Jalapenos, aged cheddar cheese, applewood smoked bacon, haystack onions, BBQ sauce- all on an egg bun.

It’s a MONSTER and I love it.   It’s super-juicy and those garlic jalapenos…..oh my damn….

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JUSTICE BURGER – WEATHERFORD

23 Jan

UntitledJustice Burger is the new kid on the block in downtown Weatherford TX.   Buckle up because we got lots of ground to cover here.

This place looks like a lot of fun.  Tons of TVs, what appears to be a stage for music, a huge beer list, and big plates full of the biggest burgers I have ever seen in my life.  I am full-on excited to be here.

I tell the server that it is our first time here and we will need a minute to go over all the beers and extensive menu.  We start with water and some chips and salsa.

She returns with the waters and drops them off.    She returns again and remembers the chips and salsa are missing and walks away.   She comes back and fills up our water and asks if we are ready to order.  I asked about a beer and my dining buddy asked about the burgers because their menu is not clear as to what ingredients is on what burger.   It’s confusing.  Again.  First time here.

My friend wants a basic burger.   This is how they list the first burger on the menu:

THE RED SHIRT GUY

Plain but Tasty Burger with Veggies.  The perfect companion for those weird other galaxy adventures you need a wingman for.

SERIOUSLY?  You had to squeeze in that goofy Star Trek joke?  Why not just list the size of the burger patty and what toppings come on it?

But right above that on the menu it reads “Burgers only include veggies if noted below but feel free to add lettuce, tomato, or onions.

So…the Red Shirt Guy comes with just pickles?  Am I crazy?  Why make this so difficult?

My friend orders the Red Shirt Guy (comes with fries) and he is set.

I order the Bacon Cheeseburger and have similar problems.

The Menu:

BACON CHEESEBURGER- Just like the cheeseburger except with tasty, thick cut, bacon.  No limitations still apply.

OOOOOHHHKAY…. EXCEPT…there is no “CHEESEBURGER” on the menu to refer to.  So when it says “just like the cheeseburger…I don’t know what they are referring to.    And the NO limitations still apply is meaningless because instead of mustard or mayo on the burger, I asked for BBQ sauce and was charged .95 cents for that.

I also ordered the onion ring “upgrade” for a “tiny bit more” ($1.00)…and a beer I never got.

So we finally taste the water….BAD MOVE.    This water is obviously unfiltered or maybe Weatherford tap water is just dirty tasting.  YUCK.  So if you only drink water….be warned.

Our server forgot the chips and salsa again and after reminding her… she finally brought them she told us to be careful because the plate was hot.

Really?  Why?  The salsas were cold and so were the chips, so why was the plate hot?

On the positive side, the salsas were both VERY VERY GOOD.  Unfortunately, the chips have so much extra salt on them that they were inedible.   We asked if we could get chips without extra salt and were told no.  “that’s how they come, sorry.”  So there goes that.

It’s a good thirty minutes until the burgers arrive.   We are both pretty tired of our “experience” here at this point.   I am thinking of just not reviewing this place at all….. but then those burgers arrive.

Despite the server NOT knowing the menu.

Despite the menu being too cutesy for its own good.

Despite having horrible tap water.

Despite having crazy-over-salted chips.

Despite ordering a beer and not getting it.

Despite thinking most of the entire menu is OVER PRICED.

This was one of the BEST burgers I have had in a LONG time.   It was thick and hearty and had great cheese and bacon.  The BBQ sauce was nice and flavorful.

UntitledThe ONION RINGS were also some of the best Onion Rings I have ever had.   They were huge and crunch and the breading was like…three times the thickness of the actual onion.  So filling!!!! It was also $11, which seemed pricey for a burger and onion rings.

My friend’s Basic Burger looked and was just as delicious.   They loved it.  They don’t know if it was worth $7.50…but they enjoyed it.

They did NOT…however…like the generic frozen fries.  Weird.  Why would you go to all the trouble to do all these fresh and homemade items and then skimp on the fries???

Was all the drama worth this ???

Well…. Slow down.   We asked for flatware and napkins and had to wait five minutes as she went and rolled us each a single fork in a napkin.   When asked if we could have knifes to cut these massive burgers…she responded… “sorry we are out of knives right now”.

Ohhhhhkay…   So we make our own way through this grub.  Loving it.

Then I notice something at the table next to us TWO minutes later.  A lady takes a drink of her water and says it is disgusting and orders a tea instead.    She also asks for a knife….and gets one.   We both have the same server.   So that pretty much ends the adventure.

After paying the tab we are in the parking lot on the way to our cars.  Both of us are suddenly hit by the fact that we are both so full that we need naps.  Like immediately.  I felt pretty sluggish all afternoon after that feast….so be warned not to chow down like I did.

I take one last look back and notice the “NOW OPEN” banner outside.   Maybe they have only been open for a few days/weeks and are still working the bugs out.   I hope so.  Those were some great burgers…but the experience with that particular server is enough alone to make me skittish about ever going back.  Despite the kick-ass food.  To be continued…..

Your mileage may vary.

JFC – MOBILE SERIES – SEASON TWO

22 Apr

 We heard you.   We got the txts, the tweets, the emails, the voicemails, the death-threats, and the singing telegrams.   You wanted MORE Junk Food Critic videos.  You wanted less randomness.  You wanted more graphics, better production value, nicer video, and better sound quality.   You asked for the host to talk more about the actual food and be clearer in what we liked and what we didn’t.   We heard your cries, pleas, and suggestions.

And we reject them all.

JUNK FOOD CRITIC is back in all it’s wacky, crazy, who-knows…..because-the-host-doesn’t-even- know- what- the-hell- is-gonna- happen- each- episode…..GLORY. ENJOY.

SOMETIMES ITS ABOUT THE PLACES I DON’T MENTION

31 Mar

UntitledHere is a photo from a burger place we reviewed recently.  The burger was almost raw inside.  The fries were cold.  The onion rings were good though.   Despite it being suggested as an “awesome burger joint in Dallas” by many of our fans…. it absolutely sucked.  The staff was rude and we were just disappointed all around.

But to some people, this is their favorite burger of all time.  That’s fine, I just didn’t have that same experience.  So instead of dragging the joint into the mud I just say I tried it…I didn’t like it.

 

RECORD GRILL – DOWNTOWN DALLAS

17 Mar

UntitledThis may be my favorite place to get a burger in Dallas.  Above the stove there is a sign.  You might not be able to see it.   It says:

NO WI-FI.  SPEAK AMONGST YOURSELVES.

Okay, I am already in love with this place.   Record Grill is a TINY joint in the West End area near a parking lot.  Just a few blocks away from Dealy Plaza.  People often mistake the place for the parking lot attendant booth because it is so small.

Inside there are a few tables and a counter with some built-in stools.   It probably holds 25 people, max.   It’s typical diner fare served with smiles and friendly people.

The burger and fries are so simple and quite good.  My only complaint was the burger patty is on the thinner side, so if you are hungry just be sure to order the double.  Fries were excellent.  It’s just a refreshing change from the Chipotle-mustard-Honey-Ranch-Angus-Cheddar-Bacon-Brie-Kool-aid-Pickles-Hoagie-artisan-gourmet-flashy-burgers that we are constantly hit over the head with these days.

Does anyone in Dallas make a good old-fashioned kick-ass cheeseburger anymore?

Yeah.  They do.  At the Record Grill.   And have done so for decades.   This place is known for their burgers and breakfast.   It’s also a fantastic place to people watch because you get the tourists, the people from the courts buildings nearby and the locals that know this is the spot.

Atmosphere, while not on the menu, is free and there is plenty.   This place actually feels like a movie set.   Or the type of place you would see in a movie.   It’s a classic and they have every intention of keeping it that way.  I love it and the food.   Viva La Record Grill!!

BACON AND SWISS BUTTERY JACK from JACK IN THE BOX

2 Mar

Untitledok, wow.  This is seriously THE best burger I have ever had from Jack in the Box.

I have, in the past, sang the praises of the Jack’s Ultimate Cheeseburger.

But this?  This knocks that off the block.   This is a seriously well-crafted culinary creation.    It’s the kind of burger you would probably spend EIGHT BUCKS for at some Gastro-pub.

It’s an all-new 1/4lb patty with some sexy garlic butter sauce on top.  Add to that swiss cheese, some bacon-mayo, and some added bacon for extra….bacon-y goodness.   Slide that monster on an ultra-soft-artisan-bun and you have an instant classic.

I hope hope HOPE that this isn’t some limited-time thing.  I want this as my new go-to move whenever I roll up on a Jack-in-the-box.  Oh yeah…

KELLER’S DRIVE-IN

13 Feb

UntitledMarty, fire-up the DeLorean because we are going Back-in-Time!!!

I have decided to start making the rounds to try and find my favorite all-time local DFW Burgers.   So I start my journey with a classic –  Keller’s.

This place has been doing drive-in beer and burgers forever and at Keller’s consistency is king.   The way the food is prepared and served has not changed since…ever …and there is some serious nostalgia that comes with your order.

Eating there I can instantly believe that the burger and rings I had taste exactly the same as they probably did back in the 90’s. 80’s.  70’s.  60’s….and so on.  I love that.

Compared to today’s gourmet burger joints you might mistakenly write this burger off as having too-thin a burger patty or it’s just not as flamboyant as what you are used to.   That’s the point.  It’s a classic.  You are getting the same style burger served the same way it was fifty years ago.

Well I agree the burger patties are thin and I should have ordered a double-cheeseburger but that is beside the point.  The reality is it isn’t just about the food—-the onion rings were kick-ass I must say…it’s about the entire experience.   It’s a step back in time, it’s a dining experience, it’s an old-fashioned-not-anything-like-this-anymore type joint.   The experience speaks volumes and goes nice with a burger and beer.  It’s a simple, stripped-down, and no-frills type joint.   That’s the magic.

The staff have car hops that have been there for decades.  They are friendly and have millions of stories to tell.   If you can’t get into the idea of it you will be disappointed and downplay the food.

You either get it or you don’t.  If you get it, Keller’s is a great place to hang out with friends and do some serious people watching – because there is no shortage of characters at this place.  If you “don’t” get into the spirit of it all you might rather skip Keller’s and go to Jimmy Corporate Burger Depot and get your artisan roll with honey-chipotle mustard and fresh-grass-fed-angus-beef-steak-house-burger.