Cracker Jack prizes SUCK

15 Aug

I love movies.   Even old ones.  Did you ever see A CHRISTMAS STORY ??  (you’ll shoot ya eye out kid!)

In old movies, or movies set “back in the day” they always talked about CRACKER JACK prizes.

I bring this all up because I bought some Cracker Jack the other day and the prize inside was the suckiest-suck-that-ever-sucked-a-suck.

It was a mini-comic-booklet giving me a history lesson on Abraham Washington or some presidential dude.


Sorry—but I was told there would be DECODER RINGS or some other kind of bad-assery in this here bag of delicious kernals.

What is the gag?  I mean did Hollywood dream up that cool prize stuff?

A quick search of eBay tells me I was right.   You can find some pretty cool and interesting vintage Cracker Jack prizes for sale there.


Plastic rings and charms, wacky tattoos books, magnifying glass, whistles, metal miniature guns and other trinkets.   METAL trinkets for God’s sake!   And I couldn’t find ANYONE on ebay selling the STUPID “prize” I got, so it’s obviously not valuable-not a trinket-not cool and made of metal or shaped like a monkey-I GOT SCREWED!

On the other hand, Cracker Jack is considered to be the first “Junk Food” .    But I could hardly care about that because I wanted a damn jet pack or decoder-ring!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye Cracker Jack – HELLO Crunch n Munch.   At least you keep it REAL.


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