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REVIEW: TILTED KILT

23 Apr
tiltedkilt by Junk Food Critic

Our plan was simple. Review all the “breast-aurants” in the DFW area. We have learned alot from our first night out @ BURGER GIRL. So for the rest of this “tour” we will break the place down into three categories.

The Place, The Girls, and The Food.

The TILTED KILT is your basic Irish Pub & Sports bar.

The waitresses wear “school girl” outfits.

ONE: THE PLACE

This Tilted Kilt (in Grapevine) was once a TGIFriday’s. They have done an GREAT job too, as I couldn’t tell for the longest time what the place USED to be before The T.K. crew came in.

The walls are filled with framed photos and bric-a-brac

(think Bennigan’s).

Now that I re-read that, I TOTALLY get a Bennigan’s vibe here . So if you truly miss Bennigan’s (and there are only 3 in Texas – 2 are in the DFW area) then you are certain to feel right at home in this place. It does an excellent job of creating a friendly atmosphere.

The Tilted Kilt seems to be drawing some of their patrons from WILLHOITE’S as well, as this night was filled with a friendly bunch of cycle-enthusiasts.

A tip of the hat again to T/K because this place is CRAMMED FULL of FLAT SCREEN TVs. I can only imagine what this place would be like watching the Super Bowl or some other BIG event like NBA Finals. Just by this alone, puts the place at the top of one of our reviewers lists of places to watch games.

TWO: THE GIRLS

All of these “breast-aurants” (a term I don’t much care for but was coined to cover all restaurants that play up the “girl in outfit” theme) have a gimmick for the girls.

At The Tilted Kilt, they wear what amounts to the classic “school girl outfit”. Complete with knee-high socks, heeled shoes, plaid skirts, and white button down blouses that are tied in a knot to show off the mid-drift, and buttoned (or rather unbuttoned) low to show off the girls bra underneath.

We make it a habit of talking to more than just OUR waitress when we go. We really want to get a feel for the place. We are all great people watchers too.

For the most part, every one of the girls we paid any attention to, or actually talked to were BARELY friendly. For some reason, the blonde stationed at the hostess stand was the worst, as her attitude could be felt the second you walk in the door.

I know alot of guys read this blog, so they wanna know about the girls themselves. There were some cuties there and some girls that should NOT under any circumstances, wear that outfit. You will just have to make that call for yourself when you check it out.

Our waitress was helpful with the menu. Ready with suggestions and asking what our food interests are so she could help since we had never been there before.

However, aside from taking the orders, and giving us the check, we didn’t see her all that much, if at all. We received no refills on drinks, and she didn’t deliver our food. Another waitress did.

Guys, if you are going, thinking you are gonna “pick-up” one of these girls, beware; The place is rather noisy. So you having some “light chit-chat” time isn’t going to happen, as the girls are constantly moving about. Not quite a “turn’em and burn’em” attitude, but close. It’s kind of a fast paced environment. Busy but courteous. Aside from the brief stops to check on you, the girls can keep themselves busy. This means they stay “eye candy”. Sorry fellas.

THREE: THE FOOD

I wanna say up front, that it is kind of UNFAIR to review the food, as they have an IMPRESSIVE array of things. This isn’t just a chicken and burger place. They had had close to a dozen things we wanted to try. But we can only eat so much, and wanted to get a basic idea of what a typical patron would order.

We ordered a burger, pizza, garlic fries, chicken strips, and fish & chips.

THE PIZZA had a unique blend of cheeses and spices on top of a scant amount of pepperoni. The crust tasted just a bit freezer burnt. All in all, not bad, but a bit like “decent” mall pizza or a really good frozen pizza. But very reasonably priced for a bar. But then again, looking at the picture above…what is that…FIVE pepperoni on the whole pizza? That SUCKS!!!!

THE FISH & CHIPS were CLEARLY everyone’s favorite. Bonus points for the malt vinegar on the table to go with them too! About half an hour later, these were kinda weighing heavy in the tummy of one taster. Everyone agreed this would be ordered again next time though!

THE BURGER was rather drab and plain. It was ordered medium, but turned out medium-well-almost-burnt. The potato bun was a nice touch.

THE GARLIC FRIES were the biggest disappointment. They are just fries with butter poured over them. I say butter because that is all we could taste. None of the group could detect a morsel of garlic or parmesan cheese, as the menu described.

Oh, almost forgot. Correction too. The Garlic fries were AMAZING compared to the CHICKEN STRIPS. These were, far and away, the worst chicken strips we have ever tried. They were dried out, tough, and tasted like they were once cold, and reheated and covered in sauce.

SUMMARY:

Despite the disappointment in most of the dishes, we would certainly come back.

NOT for the reason you might think. The girls weren’t that engaging or friendly enough to make a special trip there just to see them. They were probably the most forgettable part of the trip. In the eyes of the guys I brought along anyway. They would return for two reasons mainly:

One: To watch a UFC fight or some other sports event that is big and fun to watch in a crowd setting with lots of TVs. This really doesn’t say much for the place, it could be a Burger King– anyplace that has this many TV’s is a good place to go watch something in public.

Two: To give them the benefit of the doubt on the food and try something different. Maybe we missed the best they have to offer.

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Tilted Kilt Pub and Eatery on Foodio54

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